One Way to Make This Year Better than Last

My Australian friend, Jason Fox, is a deep thinker… a wizard of sorts. A few years ago he posted a video about picking your word for the year. Little did I know the profound impact that video would have on my life. 

Because Jason wanted to move out of his default introvert ways, his word in 2015 was “Pirate”. When facing challenges, Jason could ask, “What would a Pirate do?” He ended up writing a book that year called “How to Lead a Quest.” Watching the impact of his word, I thought I’d give it a try.  

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions because typically I forget about them within the first week, remember a couple of weeks later, shrug my shoulders, and then move on without them. This idea of finding the right word seemed like a much better approach.

Last year I wrestled for three days to find the “right” word. My word for 2019 was “Champion”. Last December, when I was trying to sort this all out, I realized that I had been whining about many of the challenges in my life. “Champion” was the perfect word. When I heard the whining internal dialogue, I could pause and ask, “What would a champion do?” Champions don’t stand around and complain about the course. “It’s too steep.” “It’s too cold.” “It’s too hot.” “It’s too lonely.” They run the race. It was the perfect word. Little did I know then that on July 29th I would find myself in the Intensive Care Unit after a quadruple bypass. I assure you, there was plenty to whine about. Open heart surgery is not a surgery for the timid. Without going into unnecessary detail, I’ll just tell you it hurt like a mother bear.

In the recovery process, I made a tremendously valuable discovery. Every time that I focused on the pain, it hurt worse. When I was coherent enough to realize that I focusing on the pain, I asked myself, “What would a Champion do?” The answer was always the same: “… since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders…. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…” (Hebrews 12:1) When I shifted to running the race, the pain became more tolerable. The difference was profoundly palpable. I’ve known for years that we go where we look. This year I learned that lesson on a deeper level that ever before. 

So here we are entering 2020. (I’m still celebrating that I survived Y2K. I talked with a young guy at the theater this week and he didn’t even know what Y2K was! Good grief, I’m getting old.) After sitting with the process for several days, my word for 2020 is….

FRIEND.

I’m applying the word FRIEND to my life at three levels:

I want to be a better FRIEND to myself.

I don’t know about you but I often have quite a negative conversation with myself. My intention is to become more kind, curious, and compassionate toward myself. If you catch me mumbling about my inadequacies, I give you permission to whisper in my ear, “FRIEND”. I expect that I will need to reminders from time to time.

I want to be a better FRIEND to other people. 

During my recovery last year, I realized that I tend to get so busy working, that I don’t invest enough in the relationships with key people in my life. I intend to take more of an interest in others, to seek them out, and to be a conduit of encouragement. 

I also intend to approach the work with my clients by frequently asking myself, “What would a friend do?” “How can I provide the most value?” “How might I encourage them on their journey?”

I want to be a better FRIEND with God.

I intend to listen more, to practice gratitude, and to fall more in love with Him. Lord knows (and He does), that I came close enough to meeting Him face-to-face last year.

So there you have it. For me, 2020 is all about the word FRIEND. I’m anticipating a great year. A year of deeper relationships. In fact, I can hardly wait. I’m eager to learn more about what it means to be a FRIEND. I suspect this will be the best year ever.

What’s your word? Please let me know in the comments below.

P.S. What would a friend do, you say? A friend would let you know that Jason has a new course on finding your word. I haven’t taken it yet, but it sure looks great. Here’s the link: https://www.cleverness.com/word